Mutating. That site evolves as I do. I’m in the middle of a mutation, and I am looking back at what I was last year or before; I can see change. Years ago I used to dislike those uncomfortable times of evolution. Now I wait for them and seek them, even.
I may write less this year, I’ll have to work harder than until now at school. But it’s not the end – it’s the beginning. Everything I wrote before was just incoherent babble. Or maybe it made sense, but I still think it was pointless. Writing “how to survive in the community’s jungle” guides feels pointless. Specific terminology feels useless. It may have been useful to some, but I feel I’ve wasted my time, though it probably was necessary to get to where I am now. Sure, I’ll finish my half-started essays; art, soulsearching, you’ll have it all. But I need to center on myself now. My own, very personal experience, my insight on life as the corvikittyboy I am.
Thébaïde: a withdrawn place for meditation. I left the boards, the arguings, the noisy flow and crowds behind. Pissing at each others scent mark is not my thing. Pawprints can lead to me. This site isn’t some “Look at what I’ve done for the community!” dead monument, no. This is my thébaïde, the Hall between my mind and the outside world, where can be found my musings, where thoughts are archived. Here I can withdraw and ground myself, take a look at the past, present and future. This is my temple. That’s why I don’t care about what you think of it: it is my territory – and I am territorial. If you dislike the place, leaving is easy. If you enjoy it, welcome to my world, feel free to get in touch. I will always be there. I’m here. I’m alive, real, living. Still an animal person, just having a better understanding of the whole picture. I’m outside and I’m on my own. This is real life, there is no illusions, just you as an individual dealing with this reality completely on your own. Alone.
So I chose my thébaïde, for a peaceful and lonely life. And it’ll be a happy one, full of discoveries and beauty and magic, because I am a Traveller on a path of discovery, and I bring my thébaïde everywhere I go. And unless one joins, I travel alone.